All the things (song)

I wish I didn’t have to
keep on loving you
through all of the pain in my mind

I wish I could let go of
all the things we dreamed of
through all the days that went by

I wish I didn’t need you
but like a fool I still do
you haunt my days and my nights

(spoken)
I wish I didn’t feel these things, all the suffering and sorrow that the thought of you brings
but my love for you shines through in my darkest hours, remember when we always had fresh flowers
the solace that we found in each other’s arms, kept us warm and safe from harm
all taken away without a word truly spoken, is it only me with my heart broken?

I wish I didn’t want you
but I do and still love you
my cross to bear in the darkness all alone

I wish the words you told me
when you were held close to me
were the truth as I believed you said

I wish the things you promised me
were really true and to this day
I believe in the fate you told me was driving us

(spoken)
I wish I didn’t feel these things, all the suffering and sorrow that the thought of you brings
but my love for you shines through in my darkest hours, remember when we always had fresh flowers
the solace that we found in each other’s arms, kept us warm and safe from harm
all taken away without a word truly spoken, is it only me with my heart broken?

I wish I didn’t have to
keep on loving you
through all of the pain in my mind

I wish I could let go of
all the things we dreamed of
through all the days that went by

I wish I didn’t need you
but like a fool I still do
you haunt my days and my nights

(spoken)
I wish I didn’t feel these things, all the suffering and sorrow that the thought of you brings
but my love for you shines through in my darkest hours, remember when we always had fresh flowers
the solace that we found in each other’s arms, kept us warm and safe from harm
all taken away without a word truly spoken, is it only me with my heart broken?

I wish I didn’t want you
but I do and still love you
my cross to bear in the darkness all alone

I wish the words you told me
when you were held close to me
were the truth as I believed you said

I wish the things you promised me
were really true and to this day
I believe in the fate your vowed

(spoken)
I wish I didn’t feel these things, all the suffering and sorrow that the thought of you brings
but my love for you shines through in my darkest hours, remember when we always had fresh flowers
the solace that we found in each other’s arms, kept us warm and safe from harm
all taken away without a word truly spoken, is it only me with my heart broken?

I know sometimes I’m hazy
I know that I sound crazy
a mere memory of you is enough to break my day

and the memories still haunt me
your words they still implore me
devote my life to dreams that you will never make real

When we lay and we made love
I felt like I was drawn above
all the things of this world we knew

All the things of this world we knew
All the things of this world we knew

(spoken)
I still love you

This is an R&B song primarily. I wrote it in a furiously inspired 20 minutes. It verges into emo-rap as much of my songwriting has of late. I wrote the music on a keyboard and the lyrics just seemed to flow. I’ve recorded a basic version. I may record more but as with all of my music I’ll keep it to myself.

Hiphop 0.1

Sobriety is hard — y’all
there ain’t no one left to catch me when I fall
lost in a feeling of love and hate
believed when you said that this was fate
sobriety and cleanliness are something that’s new
just like I believed you when you said you was true

I’ve a history of violence and you know that’s real
but ain’t nothing like the things that right now I do feel
so, I’m a medic — helping up from the line
assisting and resisting all of the time
I’m just some white face in a sea of pain
but my resistance is assistance though it’s not the same
battling through anguish and it’s mine not yours
but I’ll lay my life right down for your noble cause

I don’t even know your pain
I cannot understand
I only know I feel the shame
I cannot now pretend

Resistance is futile while cops walk the beat
doing nothing don’t mean nothing on a dead-end street
like your promises of love and endless heart
never worth nothing except in my art
you broke me and awoke me in a seeming dream
ever was worth nothing but your bitter scheme
you said that you loved me, I believed that was true
but none of your lies turned out to be you

You lied and then you were – spun on a dime
testing and tasting and splitting your time
while I fight for people’s rights
not hiding under middle lights
you are hiding in terror
if you don’t see that now you are living in error

I don’t even know your pain
I cannot understand
I only know I feel the shame
I cannot now pretend