Do you remember when
my hands were those of a lover
and a healer
taking your pain
and bringing relief in safety and peace
the gentle repose of satiation
and pain but a memory
I felt like the king you made of me
the hands that alleviated all discomfort
my gift to you, in love and desire
I would still do so
if it brought all to me
to take your pain to myself and
hold it tight as all I have

Fragmented Memory

The demons have been with us forever
with names like love and sorrow and desire
and I cannot find the way to banish them

I hear the thrum through the tracks
and as the wind blows the snow, I wonder
if this is the time, I stay on the rail

I slip on my walk, fine but for pride
and wonder at the days or weeks it would take
for anyone to notice me gone
if something happened at home

My dog misses your dog
but mostly he misses you
I get what he means

I remember lips and breasts and soft folds
and the hands with which I healed

I recall, in those days, taking your pain
and holding it myself
a blessing to my lover and love

You felt my pain, the one I had daily
for a brief moment of days
and I still watched as you went back to another

I am the one who fell, senseless beneath the moon
reaching for skies unbound
I fell to earth in open tomb

I sold this world to a second-hand merchant
who sold time in small bottles
from his tented stand?

I loved with the fire of a million suns
and I guess, I still do
but the fire now burns me to crispy critter sticks


The flowers are rotted in the vase
the table unset and bare
the candles long snuffed of light and warmth
the music is silent and the needle off the record
the words unspoken drift as smoke in the air
as ephemeral as my endless cigarettes
or my haunted dreams
I whisper them to the shrouded stillness
unheard, unread, misbegotten
drawn deep of smoke and mirror
a looking-glass reflection of calcified eyes


All around there are people together

Feasting on flesh and cheer

I have no food in the house

Bar that I give my dog and cat

I have coffee and booze and cigarettes

And if I’m lucky I’ll pass out by lunchtime

Dereliction. Acrylic on Canvas


Walk with me in the crisp morning air
hands clasped and gentle smile
along creek and canal as the sun rises bright
misted mystery in the dawning day

Kiss me with tender lips and laughter
steady gaze and quickened heart
under the hooded eyes of a watchful moon
bearing witness to star-shone sentiment

Hear me while I whisper words for you
serenity in delicate song
then the enchantment of snug silence
enriching glance of devoted affection

Sleep with me in linen sheets
twined limbs and easy dreams
in the stillness of the darkest hours
wake softly in love’s embrace


I’m trying to pack up your things today
the things you left behind
There’s makeup and your coffee cup
for the cat lady in you
There’s clothing and that painting
that you gave me
will be boxed up too
and the photos removed from the wall
If I can get through the panic
that gathers me in its frightful embrace
I’ll mail it all to you when you leave
or have someone do it
This is harder than expected


Depression kicks like a Nazi in the tube station
somewhere around midnight
brown boots and leather
the crass spill of the takeaway
and unopened wine
some guttural call
to toxic men
kicks to the face and bravery in numbers
Nazis wear blue and you called them
to beat down the broken
to undefend the defenseless
who lie in unfailing truth
some vicious scream to conformity
and deference to authority
and depression demands
the deserving

with thanks to The Jam for suggesting some of the imagery. I wrote this in under 2 minutes so please excuse its primitive nature


Do not seek me under sun’s rise or set
not in fields of flowering spring
I am not there anymore
look for me under that funeral moon
Do not seek me under blue skies or grey
not in healing rain or sunshine bright
I do not reside in those halls
look for me under the funeral moon
Do not seek me in the blossom of life
not in graces of gods or delight
I will be long departed
look for me under the funeral moon
Do not seek me in the hallows of love
not in beauty of lust or desire
I have no place in this play
look for me under the funeral moon
Do not seek me in muse’s embrace
not in charms of pleasure or glory
I taste the walls of despair
look for me under the funeral moon
look for me under the funeral moon