Notes

Feel this!
If you could ever feel anything
This!
With your tiny cock that doesn’t do anything
This!
In the romance you never had
This!
And you’re everything like your dad
Feel this!
You’re lost in wishing for kisses
This!
And you know what you are missing
This!
Our dream are haunted beside me
This!
You wish you were beside me
Feel the desire that changes everything
You wish that you could live
Without those controlling rings
You wish that you could be the woman you are
You wish that could be that shining star
You wish that you could be something that ain’t this
I gave you all the roads
You still didn’t take them
So you’re gonna live your life under someone’s control
Gonna live your life in that deep hole
Gonna live life your life under slave to the paranoia
Wish that you could see there was something better for ya
Bleeding all my words maybe nothing to say
Screaming and believing for some better way
You’ll live with the coward and you have no remorse
There’s a Nazi living with you and you have no recourse
Because you lack the moral fiber to say what he is
And his son is the one who gives unfriendly sex
So you’ll be silent while violence is done you don’t care
It’s all a fucking pretense in your blue-eyed stare

I wish you could see the difference, but you have no moral code
I wish you could see the difference, but you don’t see at all
You’ll accept the worst in people
Just so you don’t make waves
Your courage understood
To be more than chiffon waves

Existent

There’s copper and salt in my mouth
the sodden mass of decay under my feet
I’m living on cigarettes and coffee
and haunted visions of the living
I’m living in the place where dreams go to die

My hands shake and my body shivers
riven emotion etched on my sallow skin
I’m living on sleepless nights
and haunted desires
I’m living in the place that angels have fled

There’s a stench of death in every breath
rotted aspirations piled in savage middens
I’m living on acrimonious self-loathing
with the ghost of what should have been
I’m living in the place near the edge of the world

There’s vitriol coursing my arteries and veins
searing its way through vital organs and flesh
I’m living on stinging memory
and embittered self-contempt
I’m living in the place that nightmares call home

There’s vitriol coursing my arteries and veins
rotted aspirations piled in savage middens
I’m living on sleepless nights
and haunted visions of the living
I’m living in the place where dreams go to die

Naomh Briste

I am the shattered saint, patron of the broken
ahead a ragged army of the lost and the forsaken
I’m the empath with lost faith
the humanitarian with no trust
in humanity
I thank the gods that this will end
I thank the gods that none will care
I am the shabby martyr for all your sins
patron of the distraught and distressed
I’m the lonely voice for all the bereft
keening cry unheard
I am the silent scream of the crucified soul
thankful that none shall hear
I am the lost and lonely in overwhelming sea
I am the burned and bridled to witch’s stakes
I am the vengeance unspoke and the words unwrit
I am the sacrifice that you made
I am love without reason and hate in a word
I am passion personified
I am a figure left on a broken cross
in hands and side I bleed
I am the shattered saint without remorse
on whom the lovelorn feed
this army march with splitted tongues
and while they have their truth
I still must write these fractured words
thank gods it’s over soon

Repose

Lie here beside me, with your head on my shoulder
and the softness of your skin against mine
Lie here beside me, with your breath on my neck
and our hearts beating the rhythm of love
Lie here beside me, the swell of your breast held tight
to my gentle caress as kisses rain
Lie here beside me, glisten with panted words
parting your lips in the afterglow of passion
Lie here beside me, let my hand fall to the curve of your hip
as our legs twine together in languid peace
Lie here beside me, and whisper words meant only for us
to my waiting soul in your hands
Lie here beside me, and let my kisses cover your body
every lip’s graze an act of worship and reverence
Lie here beside me, as sleep takes us into its warm embrace
and Elysian dreams come to our slumbering forms
Lie here beside me, until once more we open our eyes
the passion returning as our bodies excite
Lie here beside me, let your butterfly wings caress
my form with gentle touches and murmured love
Lie here beside me, our bodies moving as one as you
see the adulation in my eyes — a triumph of love
Lie here beside me, let our hearts flutter in the breeze of affection
each moment a blessing to the world

Shanty

I am the mariner
the captain of this ship
I am lost and gone to sea
I lost the astrolabe
and now I’m all awash
with nothing left here to believe

My compass spins around, as if to find some home
If only I had never been such a shattered man – oh oh

That has so far passed me by
I see the rocks ahead
they beckon me to meekly wreck
if I will drown within
your waves will wash me clean
my final words are from this deck

If in this storm I hear your damning siren song
Then broken on these angry rocks cannot be wrong — oh oh

I sailed for all these years
I wanted all my fears
to be swept beneath your sea
but only I remain
of all who sailed away
now there is no one left but me

And if I lash myself to the mast like dying lamb
Would it be the sacrifice that you wished to have – oh oh

I’ve sailed the oceans wide
where once your love you plied
and offered solace from the sea
but stars no longer guide
drawn to this endless tide
and once was lost I am relieved

If in this stormy sea you cannot hear
The screaming of this captain then I am lost to fear – oh oh

You hung the albatross
around my neck and mocked
the loss of all I left behind
and there is life-in-death
her foul and fetid breath
reminder of such better times

If in doubt as you would always ever be
Then cast me out into this dark and stormy sea – oh oh

I’ll cast the bird aside
I’ll suffer all reprise
as you knock me from my feet
and if this suffering
be what you’re offering
I’ll take it just to be with thee

If my heart would be but less than to you true
I would rather sink into this hell that you left me too – oh oh

Save me, brave my
Honesty and love and let your fingers
Find my broken handed glove and be there
Waiting, melting, even if you doubt I will you true
Oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh

Wraith (villanelle)

Dreams lie shattered to be swept like broken glass from ‘midst the roots
of ancient forests in dank swamps and the scent of rotted bloom
hope lies crushed and broken beneath the heels of eternity’s boots

We find ourselves in obeyance or thrall to these emotional brutes
shackled in destitution against the overgrown walls of the room
dreams lie shattered to be swept like broken glass from ‘midst the roots

We wind these trails through the darkened realm and find our routes
while fates at their play or their malice do weave us on their looms
hope lies crushed and broken beneath the heels of eternity’s boots

We walk this path with the stench of decay and taste love’s bitter fruits
awash with dread and the cold damp everlasting gloom
dreams lie shattered to be swept like broken glass from ‘midst the roots

Stagger then, along this aisle of grasping leaves and tangled shoots
where wonders dashed like fallen stone and our lives entomb
hope lies crushed and broken beneath the heels of eternity’s boots

Here no piper plays and ourselves in depth we prosecute
each a mask to hide behind in full seasonal costume
dreams lie shattered to be swept like broken glass from ‘midst the roots
hope lies crushed and broken beneath the heels of eternity’s boots

Articulate

I would read to you, as night has fallen,
your hair soft against my shoulder
read tales from times long past that resonate through aeons and ages
stories of gods and heroic deeds, of life in fables and time’s mist,
and some I would write for you myself.
Over years you would hear the thousand and one nights,
the Morte D’Arthur, and Homer’s epic poems.
I would weave for you new legends, and bring to life
those bards long gone.

I would read to you with your skin pressed to mine,
your breast soft and sweet,
the only sound my voice and our breath,
as I intone to the beat of our hearts
I would read to you from Coleridge and Camus,
from Kafka and Dostoevsky,
from Joyce and from Neruda.
In the comfort of the twining of our limbs would
my voice speak softly to your heart.

I would read to you with the scent of fresh flowers in the air,
and languid lovemaking leaving us with peace and beauty.
I would read to you.
I would sing to you in tranquil tone
those words of love and passion,
even as my lips graze your skin in wonder.
I would read and sing,
to delight your heart, as our bodies entwine in awe of love.

Villanelle

There are not hours, in days or nights
when I do not dream of our embrace
I wonder at those sweet delights

You star in darkness shining bright
all lovers glance and full of grace
there are not hours, in days or nights

If I should be your quixotic knight
at windmills tilt with zest apace
I wonder at those sweet delights

In dappled moments my heart takes flight
‘cross these lines of empty space
there are not hours, in days or nights

Where once I doubt this gentle light
nor your heartstrings unlace
I wonder at those sweet delights

If these small words you see me write
and in those you find some place
there are not hours, in days or nights
I wonder at those sweet delights

Sonnet

‘cross seas and fields of gentle dusk
I come to be in arms and kiss
If only should this love be must
My arrow flies and should it miss

I would forever be bereft
Yet in your love I should always lie
And ever be forever blessed
While singing name into the sky

I was but sorrowed and decant
Into a glass you saw
If only then you wished or drank
This hollow man once more

This love is pure and ever be
A wishful plea for your mercy

Accept

I give you these things, with no rancour or regret
those sonnets I wrote
and other words less lofty
in their imagined flights of fanciful longing
the arrows for my bow
the pictures of you that still hang on the walls
and the walls themselves
My guitars and my songs both of beauty and of loss
I give you the table where we sat
and ate what I had made
I give you the bed where we would lie
so safe in each other’s embrace
I give you the remnants of my soul
I give you the place where once there were
always flowers placed there just for you
I give you a faded memory of love
I give you the gifts that you never claimed
now lying in boxes on the dresser
I give you the desk where I wrote for you
those lines you used to say you loved
I give you my heart in all fullness
which was ever yours
I give these scars both new and old
the left-over wreckage that bound
and I hope I leave no scar on you
no memory of the love I feel or the lies of love you spoke
I give you what you said
that you had never felt love like this
I give you the richness of life
I give you my forgiveness
I do not give you sorrow or tears of grief
or the right to lament
for such would be foolish in this time
you abrogated that right some time past
instead I give you this love eternal
though you quickly forget and forswear
I do not give you the right to weep
not one single teardrop should fall
from your blue eyes in this moment
I do not give you the right to grieve or to mourn or to pity
I give you, as I once promised, those pictures of me
So long deleted
Those saffron flowers and broken dreams
I give you this breath
I give you this heartbeat
I give you this last vacant stare
forgive me as I have forgiven you