Dissociate

I am becoming as cold inside as the winter snow on the fields
as icy and frigid as the waters of the creek
remnants of humanity clinging tight to my frame
in desperate remembrance of joy
those too, shall fall away, blown to the edges of the world
by the bitter winds of utmost grief
I am frightened by this growing chill, I do not wish to go there
in that callous, cold-blooded existence, indifferent to
consequence or emotion. Desolation in extremis
with all the concomitant apathy
but it comes, without regard to my struggle to stay
at least in part human and warm
I am falling into this void of emotionless dispassion
where words and deeds cause ripples that do not matter
where self or others do not count in the toneless blank destruction
In this place there will be not joy nor laughter
nor the understanding of what makes those things possible
already I do not care as it approaches
but with it comes only the desire to have others
feel the same, the desert of blankness and void of comfort
The emptiness comes and it drives to spread
to crumble those edifices of happiness that are made
and tear down the walls of joy that others may build
to destroy lives and bring the shroud of misery to the world
and I see it coming
though I may fight yet some short time longer
to remain human and compassionate as far as it takes me
until the nothingness wraps me in nihilism
to rip apart all I find and all I can
And yet! This did not have to be
would but simple words have been spoke
Perhaps I’ll find you there, in that cold dark place
where the vicious reign of despair joins the throne of denial
with your blue stare as cold as my hazel
and the end of worlds on the tips of our tongues

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