Account

Hark you now this tale of woe
that from my story you may learn
and in my words that ebb and flow
a lesson here to be discerned

I come from lands across the sea
from far around the world
and lost all hope when I did meet
treasure torture of a girl

Before I start you should sit still
take glass and strike the light
and lend your ear here to my will
lest your heart too take flight

This yarn begins in decades past
midst sorrow and midst loss
and this is how the die were cast
this counts all of the cost

I report from ninety-seven
when in fiery storm
my daughter’s soul was sent to heaven
so, this account is born

It was a night like any other
yet when the spark did strike
our home became all smoke-filled smother
flame licked in the night

She never woke that fateful night
in dreamless sleep she lay
and clouded though was my glazed sight
flames could not be kept at bay

I fought and bled and then I died
from smoke and glass and heat
and when my life they did revive
my sorrow was complete

Her body then with no life’s breath
from smoke she had succumbed
I wished I too had gone to death
what would I become?

Not yet four, she’s only three
her winsome smile now gone
nothing left for me to be
so cruelly was she torn

Do you still listen to my voice?
I see your eyes are wet
pray, keep your mind in focused choice
we have not finished yet

With her now gone I wandered far
to foreign fields and towns
I followed none but sorrow’s star
clad in mourning’s crown

I travelled far and travelled wide
my presence seldom known
and though I fly and though I stride
I never found a home

To tropic lands and snow and ice
I found and lost again
friends and comrades, foe and wife
and took all of the blame

I settled once on sandy shores
an island in the blue
but my heart beat for love no more
as still was born to lose

I lived in desert, on the street
in flophouse and in pain
I suffered on the concrete heat
in addled lonely shame

In ethanol and substance tried
to beat the demons back
always wished that I had died
and so, I hit the smack

Made music then, for those who would
listen to my songs
but much as I could tried to do good
I could not right my wrongs

And as the years they did condemn
me to this bitter fate
I clung to hope through leaf and stem
and days did follow date

Then after many years were gone
and with no plan of mine
I met a girl whose eyes were drawn
and took it as some sign

She took my hand and took my heart
made promise sweet and pure
she took my love and loved my art
I thought she would endure

Each moment made of breathless joy
do you follow still?
her promises she did deploy
for wonderment or ill

I loved her then with all my soul
as never one before
believed in all the words she told
and opened up the door

With butterflies I would await
her presence in the room
I felt redeemed of my mistakes
and with her I would swoon

Her breast as pale as moonlit night
her kiss as sweet as sugar
when she was near my heart took flight
she was to me, love’s pusher

Do you still hear me, listener dear?
do you sit quiet in solemn stare?
can you feel the growing fear?
or do I speak to empty air?

She brought me love and brought me hope
she brought me to my knees
she gave me words, in envelopes
that brought me love, comfort as breeze

She gave me sex and sacred words
I worshipped at her feet
she gave me prayer and my voice heard
she made my heart to beat

She promised much and then forgot
she left me chained and damned
she made me understand my lot
her love was but a sham

Listen now! And raise your glass
to love once pure and true
if sorrow be the lesson learned
then let me then teach you

Of lies of love and shattered soul
of deceit and death
and it’s a tale of times gone old
as all draw final breath

So, if love comes in night or day
and tempts you to your fate
you should resist in every way
or be destroyed by it

And though she lied in every way
and though she broke my heart
I am still hers still every day
still through the tears that start

She left without a word or deed
she never said goodbye
she left despite said felt our need
as all her words were lies

I’ve come full circle – I endure
in sorrow and in loss
my daughter til my one true love
that heavy albatross

So, listener please now hear me true
to you I’d never lie
when true love comes into view
from that please surely fly

For love brings naught but suffering
and endless blackened night
best be cold than hungering
for falsehood in love’s light

So, I sit now in induced haze
at sea amongst the chaff
and follow now my endless gaze
though she may merely laugh

For I am broken on her rack
and many be my sins
but I would give to have her back
immortal soul within

I’d give again my daughter dear
although I know that sounds
to be with her on nights so clear
and days where I have drowned

I speak her name in hallowed tones
I long for her embrace
and though I wish these weary bones
in empty hollow space

Could end in ways I can’t defend
I wish my time was come
Still love her heart and I expend
As only love becomes

Better then to realise
that all love is a lie
better then to understand
that life is but to die

So, hark my words, believe me now
I know of what I speak
that love is just the strengthened bough
on which the noose does creak

14 thoughts on “Account

  1. You were right in calling this piece epic in your previous comment to me. You are really talented with your words. I appreciate also your raw honesty about your life, your sharing style is similar to what I strive for in my work.

    Like

    1. He’s a quatrain for the moment, written on the fly.

      There’s a place where the words live in desperate need
      To be written, and read, and forgotten
      In harrowing anguish and ink drops of emotion
      In this realm of the lost, broken hearted

      Generally I don’t do rhyme but I’ve been inspired by another poet to try my hand

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I picked up on the substance abuse from following your words, but I send you well wishes that you’ll be able to cast aside the reliance on the substances. Any addiction can be difficult to curb and manage. With time, I hope you can conquer them. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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