Trigger Warning

You do not see these weeping eyes
You did not see that failed body
On the gurney when they brought me back
To a life I did not wish
With machines and drips and courage
Uncalled, unasked
As I lay unmasked before eternity
You did not hear the rush of siren
Or the frantic push of the medic who
In their miscarried panic
Sought to bring back to life this foolish husk
That still thought only your name
And each day is worse than the last
Each another step closer, another harrowed end
When my heart stopped, I thought of you
When no light came, no brilliant beyond
Your face filled my mind
Blue eyed grace and pale white skin
A vision of beauty’s essence at the end
Before forever night
took hold in its embrace
truth be told I seek that grasp
that silent squeeze into oblivion
an encirclement of encompassing arms
I held tight the letter I wrote to you
As the glow faded from my eyes
Those words of love and loss bleeding
On the printed page in sorrow and in rage
Dear Danica
My love
Beloved as I depart
You never see me cry, at night or in the sun’s rays
You do not see this failing or this descent
Into darkness and cold still
You see only the raging of the depleted heart
And the solemn end to funereal days

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